Do You Want to Burn Away Self-Limiting Beliefs? Oh, and We’re Taking a Break

20 

It's the season finale baby!!!! 

As we have said many times, if you're going to be about it, be about it! So we are giving ourselves permission to take a break and to pivot by making this a seasonal podcast. This decision wasn't easy. It wasn't in the plan, and it's definitely not in alignment with capitalism hence why we are doing it! 

We discuss how we got to this point from what happened when Kelly lost her job to how Kendle discovered she lost her joy to how we overcame previous versions of ourselves in the face of conflict. 

We wrap up this season by giving y'all a ritual designed to release self-limiting beliefs or anything else that is holding you back from stepping into a whole version of self. 

We also talk about:

• Parts Work
• Voice memos 
• Scarcity mindset 
• 2023 through the lens of Tarot 
• Partial Solar Eclipse in Scorpio 

Many thanks to all of y'all from each layer of our hearts for being with us on this journey - please send us some feedback a la shit sandwich style!!! 

Resources:

Many Moons Planner by Moon Studio
What October 2022's New Moon Solar Eclipse Has In Store For You by Bustle
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
The Nap Ministry 

Find the full episode transcription here

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Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor

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We acknowledge we are operating on the occupied land of the Ute, Arapahoe, and Cheyenne peoples colonized as Denver - we pay our respects to those past, present, and future. We also acknowledge this statement is not enough and are committed to giving a portion of our proceeds to the people whose land we occupy and are in the process of getting a true land reverence.

Transcript

[music]

Kendle: Hey, y'all. You're listening to no Offense and a loving and nourishing space created to fuel conversations around the of personal and collective liberation. We're Kelly and Kendle, having vulnerable and intentional conversations full of humor, empathy, and, of course, love. Kelly: Honestly, these episodes are just our opinions, so take no offense, and we invite you to explore yourself through our words. Help grow our community by leaving a review and most importantly, sharing. Now let's get into some self loving

[music]

Kendle: selflove. Monday. It is the day before the new moon, day before the first eclipse of the eclipse season, and it is also our season finale. 

Kelly: Plot twist. 

Kendle: Plot twist. Oh, yeah. We set out to do this in a very aquarian way. We didn't really have, like, a full plan. We had a start, and we had an end, and the end was obviously everyone loving themselves in the world and collective liberation, and I think that life caught up to us. Our intention with today's episode is to kind of explain what has been going on since really we launched since August 31 and why we're taking a break. Also, we have a little selflove ritual for you at the end. So we just want to thank you all, first and foremost, for being here with us on this journey, for holding space for all of the conversations that we've had. Also, if you hear a dog, there's a dog. 

Kelly: She may be scratching or humping her toy. 

Kendle: Yeah, she loves to hump her toy. She gets it. 

Kelly: Yes, she does.

Kendle: Yeah. It's definitely been quite an expansive few months, and we hope that it has been that for you all. And we just appreciate how consistently everyone has shown up and listened and held space. Thank you for being here. 

Kelly: Yes, I hope that everyone has gained something, learned something, loved themselves a little bit more. And when we come back to this, it's going to be that much better.

Kendle: Yeah. We're really taking a break to incubate. To hibernate. Really. To hibernate. To rest. Rejuvenate. And to integrate everything that we have learned about ourselves. About what we view our role in the world. Of being. Of service. To be. How we can best be of service to people who we are engaging with. And really just how we can continue to show up as authentic as possible and give ourselves love. help people to give themselves love

Kelly: because if we're gonna be about it, we got to be about it. 

Kendle: We got to be about it. 

Kelly: And one of the things that I know Kendle has taught me is rest. And that's what I'm very called to right now. So to catch you guys up just a little bit, what kind of led to this pivotal point is a month or so ago, I got laid off for my job. It was very unexpected, completely blindsided, but also a complete blessing. It was very scary in the moment, very overwhelming in the moment. Especially learning that we won't be able to move forward on moving into our house that we've been envisioning and building together. But it is something that I have asked for as I'm talking to spirit guides, as I'm just trying to be more connected to myself and connected to the universe. It was a sign that I've been asking for, and so I am eternally grateful for it. It was big and obvious because I asked for something big and obvious. So I cannot complain because when I need or want something, I was like, give me a big sign. I need to know you're there. I need to know that I have you. And of course, 

Kendle: your guides were like, okay, bitch, you asked for it. There's your job no more. 

Kelly: Yeah. So I'm not upset again. I'm so grateful. And it's a wild experience because a few days before being Let go of my job again, here I am, just throwing things out into the universe, acting like universe is never trying to align with what I'm wanting. And me and my husband were in a very emotional conversation. I was in a mood, I think, to my human design. I was feeling very frustrated, and I just told him, I wish that we didn't have the house anymore. I wish that we could get our deposit back, and I wish that we could just travel for a whole year. And then two days later, I lost my job, I lost my house. I did get my deposit back, and now I'm on this kind of soul searching journey because I've never had a break since I was about 15 is when I started my first job. And as a manifesting generator, I've always had at least one job or two jobs, or it was job full time. In school full time. It was always something. So this is the first true time I have ever been able to rest and not have a responsibility that I have to be committed to aside from my husband and all my friends. But, you know, like, work wise,

I'm taking a break. I'm taking a recharge. I am really sitting with myself and trying to figure out what are my next steps, what do I really want to do, and how do I really want to pursue that? We'll talk about one piece of that later. But during that process, it left a lot for Kendle to kind of do and work on, and she was so great in understanding and the fact that I needed to rest and needed to have this break. She's been very supportive, but it was leaving her with a lot of the podcasts to manage. And so that kind of leads into the next step of why we're taking a break right now, we are trying to realign in the business model, the business structure. It's also allowing her to kind of take a break, and I'll let her kind of speak on kind of what she was feeling because I know she was not finding the joy in doing this anymore. And one of the things that we discussed in the very beginning of this is this is ours and we can make it whatever we want. And so to not have that alignment between making it what we want so we're happy and not having to join anymore, it's a big piece of also why we're going to have this break. 

Kendle: Yeah, definitely. Thank you for sharing that and everything. I mean, I know losing a job at any point in time is absolutely shattering. I know a lot of the emotions and feelings that you were expressing I resonated with so deeply from when we got evacuated from Uganda. It's that feeling of having almost no motivation, that feeling of kind of losing center, losing all these things. I mean, it's depression, it's depressing to lose a job. It's scary for so many reasons, activating for so many reasons. Not only is it a source of security, protection, food, water, shelter, all of the things, then there's also that part of you that's like, well, what did I do wrong? This is all the dreams that I've been dreaming and now they don't align with that. And I understand that you asked for it and I understand that it is a blessing. However, a lot of times wrapped in blessings are really hard times. So I'm really grateful that we kind of got into a little tiff and I'm really grateful that we did because I think it is very difficult to express how we are truly feeling when we have created something or when we're full in on something, or when we're in partnership with someone and we don't want to upset them, disappoint them, hurt their feelings, whatever it might be. Being completely transparent and being honoring ourselves and how we're feeling is such a difficult thing to do. And I mean, that's a huge reason why we are taking this break is, as Kelly mentioned, I've always done the editing for the podcast and it is a lot of work when there's so many things out there that are like, oh my gosh, only people do people only do like ten podcasts and then they stop work. You get to ten. It's a huge deal. It is a huge freaking deal. Let me tell you, man, to record an episode is however long it is. Yeah? multiply that by like four to six and that is how long it takes to edit, to do show notes, to do transcripts, to do all of the things. It's a lot of work. It is a full time job plus and because of that. It honestly lost its joy because I wasn't doing the parts of it that I really enjoyed doing was sitting down and recording. Making people listen to me. 

Kelly: Writing the message. 

Kendle: Flabbering my mouth. But just like. Yeah. Tapping into what brings me passion and joy and there are parts of the editing process that was fun and everything. And then it got really monotonous. And then I got stuck in the patterns of like, well, this is just what it is. It has to be this, because how else can it be? It's just like, what has this is what we're doing, is what we're doing and not really allowing myself to recognize, like, oh, I'm not in alignment with this anymore. I need to pivot, I need to take a break, and I need to find my center again, find my joy again. And I think the reason that it all, in a way, came to a head in the way that it did is because when we initially set out creating the podcast, we didn't envision there to be seasons. We talked about it briefly and we're like, nah, we don't need that. What? Nah, we're just going to keep going. And so there was a huge resistance within me to acknowledge the fact that maybe a season is what is best serving us, maybe a break would best serve us. And so again, we got to this point because if I may, when Kelly lost her job, there almost seemed to be an increased pressure for us to create something beyond the podcast, because that's always been our dream, is to find avenues to support people that merge beyond the podcast. And money is a part of that. As I said, this takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of time, and it has been my main priority. It at this point in time, can no longer be my main priority because I need to pay my bills. I need to make money. You know, when your savings account matches your credit card about and you're like, well, shit, here we are. And so we had a conversation about something that we could do in the future for people, and we just did not align with what that vision looks like. And for me, it was very activating of my parts. There were parts of me that have experienced money being chosen over them, money watching money destroy relationships. And my initial response was, get the fuck out. Run far away. So I knew that I needed to approach a conversation from a point of kind of like writing a letter, but like sending a voice memo. This is how I'm feeling. A little bit of word vomit. Pretty emotional, not really from a place of higher self to allow Kelly to sit with how I'm feeling in that moment. In that moment, Kendle of then did not realize that I had really lost a lot of the joy or I was blind. I was looking away from the fact that I had lost the joy from the podcast, that there was more things going on than just that specific moment. So then we got kind of into more of a conversation and my white privilege definitely came through because for me, in that moment, I wasn't taking on a wide angle blend. I was just thinking about myself and how I didn't want to be in relationship with anyone, really, who, from my perspective, was valuing money more than our relationship and lost sight of kind of the mission of everything, why we even started this, how our conversations of alignment and so many things, they just weren't in the forefront of my mind. So thankfully, I had a partner who checked me a little bit and made me realize like, okay, there's more going on here Kendle, take a step back, sit with what's happening and reckoning of why I have a lot of money trauma that I need to work on. Kelly and I both see money as a vehicle, as a tool to propel this change. It is a necessary evil. And only I say the word evil because of the way it has previously been used and how it controls. I mean, we are learning, we are discovering ways of separating money from white supremacy. However, white supremacy, it is money that is like point blank. That's what it has been for all the years of its existence so far. Not saying every single time someone sends money, it is to a white supremacy, but at the end of the day, it has roots in it. And so after a couple of voice notes came together and had a conversation and again I sat with it, I had a lot of messages come through in my dreams about what's going on. I realized that I'm limiting myself by not wanting to. I mean, I think all this shit should be free because to me, the self love, collective liberation tools that we can use to tap into our bodies, that's a human right. It is synonymous to water. In a lot of ways, however, that just isn't the truth of life. And so needing to find a way to merge the two of using our skills, our gifts, our abilities to generate a livelihood, to generate change, to generate other people's livelihoods, to generate transformation and collective liberation, all these things. 

Kelly: Taking the power back. 

Kendle: Yes. 

Kelly: Keeping money communal. 

Kendle: Yes. 

Kelly: Taking it from areas that are creating that evil, creating the suppression, creating power to keep others low, and being able to put that back in the places of people that need it the most. 

Kendle: Absolutely. Moving from greed to love. Love collectivism, sharing infinite resources. So I sat with all of that again, realized I've been limiting myself. There's this book. It's called The Big Leap. I believe everyone needs to read it. It's fascinating. It talks a lot about operating in the zone of genius and what we do when we limit ourselves because our ego is so afraid of living in the zone of genius. And worrying comes into that, criticism comes into that, blame comes into that, squabbles come into that. And so being able to be like, oh, I've been taking a little bit of fight, because I am limiting myself. And also there's a part of me that this is really activating and is really hurt by money. And also, we need a fucking break. We're tired. And the universe is clearly sending the message to Kelly that she needs a break. It's clearly sending a message to me that I am no longer feeling joy from this. I mean, a lot of beauty has come from you losing your job because Kelly lost her job. It has been a series of events, a domino effect, we shall say. She was like, I think I want to become a coach. And I was like, oh, shit, I think I want to become a coach. And then the next domino falls, and it's like, I found this program. Let's do this master class that she's offering. And I'm like, okay. And then we're both like, Nah. And then Kelly's like, I found this other one I really like. And then I was like, Wait, I found a program I really like, and it starts in three days. And thank God I am obsessed so far, but in, like, I don't know, three classes, just a couple of other workshops, and it's like, every single time they're speaking, I have tears in my eyes. Just like, so much gratitude. You started your program in January. And just the sequence of events, as we've always said, we cannot ignore those things. It's like Donald Trump becoming president because Barack Obama was president. You can't separate the things. They're all connected. And then COVID is a part of that. It's just like trying to step back and look at all these sequence of events from a higher perspective and give ourselves permission to change, give ourselves permission to rest, give ourselves permission to pivot, to innovate, to take a freaking break. 

Kelly: Yes, no, 100%. I would like to point out a couple of things that really help. Okay? Because Kelly, in the past, if conflict like this would have happened, a, I would have made Kendall cry because I would have cut her down so far, because I felt hurt or attacked or whatever the emotion associated with conflict was, I would have broke her down, because that was just my defense mechanism. Or on the flip side, I would have just not talked to her. I would have cut her out. It's done. The ability that I have been able to curate over the last several years as my ego, my protective self, has developed, I can cut someone out so easily and never talk to them again. And it will be done. I will slice them out, and it will be like they never existed. Kind of, right? Because it's still on my subconscious. It's something that I never actually healed. So the fact that Kendle and I have been able to come together, be able to sit in a higher place, really come to the conversation from a point of love when Kendle first sent her message, I'm glad she sent it to me emotional, but it was still from a place of love. She was just expressing how she felt. And I had enough empathy and compassion that I've been able to develop over the last year or two to say, I know Kendle feels like this. I know Kendle has these things about money. I can sit in a higher space and understand where this message is coming from and not be so angry. At the same time, though, it was very activating because a lot of the things she was saying were things that I didn't feel were true for myself. So being able to send something like a voice memo, being able to say how you feel, sending it, and allowing the other person, especially with manifesting generators, to really sit on that information and process information and then come to a conversation after that, after you have time to process it's, so helpful. So if you've never done that, it's amazing. I sent her a message afterwards, I was a little activated. I needed to get my side of how I was feeling, and I felt like it was important to be able to do it from an emotional space so she could really understand how I was feeling. But I had enough time to sit on it where it was not from a place of anger. It was a place of love. I want to say this, but I'm not going to call her names. I'm not going to say mean things to her. I'm not going to break her down. I'm not going to pick the points of her that I know what hurt her the most. And this is also how I'm feeling. This is why I'm activated. This is why these things are so important to me. And so that tool in itself, I would always suggest doing 

Kendle: big fan.

Kelly: big fan. And also just it's okay to have conflict. I lived in a world that conflict was not okay. Conflict was bad. I never learned the tools to be able to get past conflicts. I was never taught those tools as a child, and they were never

Kendle: modeled. 

Kelly: Yeah, exactly. So the fact that we were able to, especially if we're going to be in a partnership together, right. We're going to have this happen all of the time. And for Kendle to be brave enough to send me that voice memo, I thank her so much because it did propel this further conversation. And I have to give myself a little kudos on the back, too, because I was able to sit on it and, like, really reflect on it and talk to her about it. And then we came together and really talked about, okay, how are we feeling? Are we okay? What's going on? What should we do? And I'm glad Kendle was open to the break. 

Kendle: Yeah, I mean, to your point, just the fact that we were able to have that conversation because previous versions of me would have never said anything, would have just kept my head down, would have just kept working, would not have wanted to cause conflict because to me, conflict means the end of everything. It's just better to not actually say how I'm feeling. Better to just stuff it down and keep going because I don't think I previously was held in a way when I would express how I was feeling. That made me feel comfortable to express how I was feeling. So exactly, again, to your point of being able to have that conversation. And now we both have this data point of we can have conflict, we can express how we're feeling and we can come together and find a solution. And our solution is a break. 

Kelly: Our solution is a break. 

Kendle: And we are allowed to have sex with other people. Not like friends. I'm just kidding. We don't have sex 

Kelly: just mentally. 

Kendle: Mentally, we have mental sex. 

Kelly: She stimulates my brain.

[laughter]

Kendle: A huge thing for me, since we've decided to do this is recognizing how authentic it is to me feels to you as well to be taking a break. I feel that I would be going against everything that I have been stepping into, everything that we have in a way expressed through this medium of a podcast, to just keep on going, to keep on producing, because that is aligning with the conditioning of capitalism. And I think about this a lot, like how our world has gotten to where it is because no one told anyone to ever just take a break and stop. We've just kept going, kept going, kept going, kept going. 

Kelly: If only we had something like COVID, a lockdown, a pandemic. It would have been great if everyone could just sit and rest, which some people did. But then there were essential workers and people were sitting, if they were sitting, a lot of them were sitting in fear. 

Kendle: Yes. Yeah, it wasn't a healthy break, rightfully so, because people literal lives were on the line. We didn't know what was to come and we didn't have any kind of leadership, any at all. We had a racist xenophobic motherfucker. I love masks. anyway. And I think that that is the future, we build something, it's not going to be perfect because perfection doesn't exist. So now let's take a break, let's look at it and let's reassess. Do we need to rebuild parts of it? Do we need to rebuild all of it? Do we just simply need to pivot in general? Like there's so many options when we give ourselves the option of resting, of taking a break, of taking a step back, of allowing ourselves to truly do what our body is telling us, we need listening to that because I would sit in the tub and it would be like, you need a break. And I'd be like, shut up. And then I would like it and I'd be like, well, I could do this and I can do this, and said, and this will be fine. And it's like, no. When you first brought up the fact that you want to go to Thailand, I was like, she wants to do a break. I want to do a break. Wow, this is actually going to be great. Kelly's going to go to Thailand. 

Kelly: That's the game plan. 

Kendle: I know. I'm putting it on here because it's accountability, baby. 

Kelly: That is game plan. I mean, especially right as both of us being manifesting generators. We are literally on this earth to execute, to work. That's what really drives us too. That's what lights us up is being able to work. We can literally work all day. We can work our asses off all day and then go to bed exhausted, get rest and wake up and go. 

Kendle: As long as it's something that's lighting us up. 

Kelly: Exactly. As long as what's being in alignment with us. It's giving us fuel. It's giving us fire. Because also for my authority, not my authority, what is the other one where I have if I feel frustrated? 

Kendle: Oh, yes, you're not self. 

Kelly: My not self. I'm feeling frustrated. That's okay. You feel frustrated. Sit on that. Why are you frustrated? And you're also allowed to pivot. I've lived in a world where pivoting was not an option. And I think that is applicable in more ways than one. It's kind of even like what you said with just sharing your emotions. I'm just going to stuff it down and I'm going to keep going. I'm going to keep working even though I don't like this job anymore and it's not serving me. And I'm going to keep going. I'm going to continue in this relationship even though I know it's no longer serving me and I'm just going to keep going. And it is okay to stop and say, I don't like this. I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore. I've never felt that way, ever. Saying I've never given myself permission to no. 

Kendle: I mean, we thought we've both gotten to points in a relationship or a job where it's just for like, no fucking more. Because if I keep going, like, there will no longer be. And for us to not be at that point and to be like, hold up, I don't want to get to that point. Something's off. What do I need? I need a break. I need to pivot. I mean, you say that I'm just going to stuff it down and keep going and keep working this job. I'm gonna keep going. I'm like memoir of my life. 

Kelly: I mean, even with me in my current job, I am so grateful for my job. I don't want to take anything away from that. The opportunities that that position was able to pay for the rest of my life is monumental. But I was getting to a space where I was staging the office and not because I just wanted to cleanse it, but because I felt something not good in there. It was eating my soul. 

Kendle: It was sucking your soul, man. 

Kelly: 100%. And right, that was my sign. But I couldn't because I had a house that I was building with my company, so I knew I had to stick it out. I knew how to keep pushing. I knew I just had an end goal. But then universe comes and says, no, it's okay. We're going to give you a learning opportunity right now. We're going to give you what you want because the house is not supposed to happen. This job is not supposed to be happening. There are other things that are supposed to be happening. And yes, there's a lot of learning opportunities, right? How many times have I felt lazy or I feel unproductive not doing anything again? Because I've gone, gone, gone, gone. Push, push, push, push, push. Achieved, achieved, achieved, achieved. Gold goal, goal, goal, goal. I have no idea what I'm doing right now, and this time is I don't want to say scary because I know it's all in alignment for the collective and the greater good. 

Kendle: So it can be scary, though. 

Kelly: I don't know if scary is the right one. 

Kendle: It's intimidating. 

Kelly: Intimidating. It's just such an unknown space because when I wake up and I don't do anything all day, my biggest accomplishment for the day is I made my bed, I showered and I maybe did some laundry, and that was my biggest accomplishment all day. That is a new feeling for me. And the times when those minimal things were achieved in my life, usually those are associated with depression. I don't feel depressed right now. I feel uncertain. I feel a little uneasy. I feel maybe a little emotional. I feel a lot of things. I don't feel depression, though. And so to relearn, what am I supposed to be doing? To relearn, how do I have control of my day now that I don't have to sit in an office from nine to five every single day with no breaks? My job, I was not even allowed to really leave for lunch. I didn't go to a doctor's appointment in the middle of the day, nothing like that. Like, I was in my office all the time. Yeah, a little office by myself most days. So to have this opportunity now to rest and rediscover what lights me up, what am I passionate about? How do I take control of my hours? How do I now realign with what my purpose is supposed to be? Because for so long, that job was my purpose, even though it had nothing to really do with my core mission of wanting to help people, of wanting to spread more self love, collective liberation, it was not actually lined. It was just capitalism.

Kendle: Yes. Because it did generate a livelihood. And in order to exist in this capitalistic world, You have to have money coming in. And if you don't, people then look at you a certain way, they look down upon you. We've learned to equate our worth to the car that we drive, to the amount of money in our bank account, to the clothes on our backs. These certain things we're told that is what makes us successful. If we own a house, if we have a yard. All these things that at the end of the day don't actually depict someone's worth like you are worthy simply because you exist. And it's that rat race, it's that cycle, it's that loop. And we've been so conditioned to believe that to rest is to be lazy, is to be unproductive. It means you're a bad person. It's all of these things. There's this instagram account. It's called The Nap Ministry. I believe this woman who I met through the coaching program that I'm doing, she introduced me to it. Her name is Keisha Yonkers. The nap ministry. This woman, she just came out with a new book. I'm gonna link it because I think everyone needs to follow it. And it's a lot about how rest is resistance and it's specifically catered. Not catered. I would say it's specifically for the lens of bipolar community. The community that has never really been given permission to rest. It's a really cool account. 

Kelly: Well, it's such a space of, again, control. And what I've recently realized is when you are living through that lens of I need to achieve, I have to make money to pay my bills, I have to do all of these things. You are living in a space of scarcity. 

Kendle: Yeah, absolutely. 

Kelly: I have to do these things. I have to make this money, I have to produce. You're being pushed through ego and not your higher self. And you're pushing yourself through a place of scarcity. Because if I don't do this, I won't have this. And that's not how that's not how you manifest your truest desires and align with the universe or God or whoever it is. That's not how you come to alignment with anything. And you're suppressing all of your creative energy. You're suppressing who you actually are. Because if I continuously stay in this rat race, it doesn't give me any time to really reflect on who the fuck am I. I lost myself so much in that position, in that job because it was taking up all of my time, it was taking up all of my energy. It was even on vacation, I felt like I was still in the back of my mind, not actually disconnecting because I was still focusing. I hope everything's going well at work. I hope everything's smooth. I hope things are getting done. They never actually allowed me to ever just connect with myself again. And it is okay to take a break. That is why we are if we're going to talk about it, we're going to be about it. And as resisting as that feels, I just need to trust myself. And I think that's one of the hardest pieces right now is being able to trust myself that it's okay. 

Kendle: Yeah. 

Kelly: Because I've never been able to do that. I've never been told that that's okay. I've never felt safe enough to feel like that was okay. 

Kendle: Yeah, I mean, it's exactly as you said. You've worked at this point where you can take that break, because people can't take a break when they have kids and when they have bills to pay. And that is where the scarcity mindset comes in, is because everything is so expensive. Everything. And that's how they keep us down. Right. It's like, keep charging high things for rent and for all the things, because then people have to keep working. They don't have money in their savings account. And it is such a gift that this is coming at this time, where you have been working hard at this place for four years. You have money in your savings account. You have a partner who has a job that can support you. You have a roof over your head type of thing, and giving yourself that permission that the world is showing you, like, you've gotten to this point, and now you can take a break. Because, unfortunately, we do live in the world of capitalism. And so it's had to come almost to this moment of, like, security in a lot of other ways, for you to feel secure in trusting yourself, in giving yourself permission to rest. 

Kelly: I forget the exact percentage, but it's a very, very, very high percentage. Almost all Americans don't even have $1,000 in their savings account. Just because somebody looks rich, just because they drive a Mercedes, they have a nice car, they have a Louis Vuitton bag. Whatever you see on somebody. Just because they make a lot of money doesn't mean they have a lot of money. I know people that make a ton of money, and they are broke. I know people that look like they have a lot of money and they are swimming in credit card debt. Because, again, the capitalistic society of my value is tied into my car. My value is tied into how big my house is. My value is tied into the clothes that are on my body. That ideal is fake as fuck. Nobody has money in their accounts. So I 100% come from a place of privilege where my husband and I have been very aligned in our finances, where we live well below our means, where we prioritize paying ourselves first, and that means paying into our savings account. So when I get into a situation like this, yes, it's still scary. I've never not had money come in, so to take from savings is very scary. For me, it's a new experience. But I am blessed and grateful that I, at least, have been able to set myself up financially. To be able to take a break even though I am still struggling right now with that scarcity mindset of like, okay, I'm not producing, I'm not making money, what am I doing? Hang on. Like, my bank account is going down and then it's not going up and it's just continuously going down. And I have bills because I feel bills to pay. Right. Do not let the facade of other people make you feel less than because trust me, if you feel like you're broke that person, the Mercedes is probably fucking broke too. They're just doing it in a Mercedes

Kendle: 100%. Yeah, I mean, you saying all of that. It's fascinating to me how almost mirroring it feels, this experience that you're going through with what happened when I got brought back from Uganda because I had money in my savings account before going to Uganda. I mean, definitely we talked about money earlier. I definitely operate from scarcity. I'm like, I put all my money in my savings account and coming back if she didn't know when you come back from the Peace Corps, you get paid money and which to me is just ridiculous. Anyway, we're not going to talk about that right now. But it's just very fascinating to me because it mirrors that of like I knew that I could get a job somewhere else, that I could start working the 40 to 60 hours a week, start putting money in my bank account, go move in by myself in my own apartment, do whatever. But I knew that I would be going against everything that I had learned about myself in my time in Uganda over the course of those years. And it continues to come back to that point time and time again. Like, I don't know how many times I look at jobs just to look at them, but then I'm like, no, I would be so miserable. I'd feel so soul sucked if I did that. And why would I be doing that? I would be doing that to move out of my mom's basement. I would be doing that to have more money in my bank, just like certain things. And I know that again, I don't want to detract from the fact that money is a necessity, because it is. But it's very interesting to me how mirrored those experiences are. And I'm just grateful that again, we have this relationship, we have this rapport that we were able to talk through kind of the emotions that we've both been experiencing for the last month plus, and come to this resolution and decide to take a break, to have a season finale, to choose ourselves exactly as you said, pay ourselves first. And like, we're paying ourselves in terms of energy, in terms of time commitments, in terms of responsibility, 

Kelly: creativity 

Kendle: and creativity. Exactly. Because that's what this is. It is a creative tool. And it's very cool how it is all playing out just to circle back to Tarot. So we are currently in year six, two plus two plus two. And it is the lovers here. So it's all about relationships, it's all about foundations. We've talked about this before in previous episodes. And next year is year seven, 2023. We're moving into the year of the Chariot. And this year that we're in currently, year six is again all about those foundations. So, as you're saying, it's career, it's house, it's friends, it's family, it's love I give for myself. It's all these things. And it's just so cool and fascinating how that pillar of career for you has really shifted, has gotten a lot of work done, and same with housing and living and certain things. And you mentioned that this time has really felt like a time to be learning. And that's exactly the energy that we're heading into with the year excuse me, with the year seven. The Chariot is all about learning. I just think that it's really beautiful how we are both in these programs. My program will finish in March. Your program will finish in June. And we are learning tools to help people transform themselves. We're learning tools to hold space for people, to give them love, to help them give themselves love. I just am so hopeful and eager and curious and excited to go through this process and to see after this period of incubation of hibernation and just really allowing for the universe to continue to lead us, because I think that's what we've always done is allowed for the universe to lead us. I mean, the universe is how we met, the universe is how this podcast came into existence. And to kind of tap back into that energy a little bit of OK. This first season, I feel like, was a lot about abortion, it was a lot about sex, it was a lot about divorce, it was a lot about metamorphosis. It was so much about metamorphosis. And here we are getting into our cocoons, becoming a chrysalis, and we're gonna emerge into a butterfly. Im a beautiful little butterfly. Everyone go watch Bug’s Life. 

Kelly: I love that movie 

Kendle: and it's exciting. And I'm really grateful for so many things, just that we're at this point, this point of true metamorphosis, this point of true pivoting, and this point of truly if we're going to be about it, be about it. And I know that not everyone can take a break from a job. I do think, though, that there are things that we give a lot of energy and time to that we don't necessarily realize we're giving a lot of energy in time to. So things that take up a lot of, as people say, real estate in the mind. And we're going into the winter. And I know not everywhere in the world is snowy at this time. It is, though, a time for hibernation, for really turning inward, for resting, for giving self permission to just simply be, to kind of be creative, too, and see what comes of that. And as we said at the beginning of the episode, tomorrow is the eclipse, it is the new moon. And what a beautiful time for all of this to align with that, because I think as we said, as I said, when we got into our little TIFF, there were parts of me that were hurting and needing love. There were self-limiting beliefs that I was projecting onto this partnership. There were parts of me that were scared and were in fear. And we want to give space for people to tap into a little self love ritual. I don't know, before we dive into it, if you have anything else that you want to say about 

Kelly: I don't think so. I'm just so excited to start the coaching program. I'm so excited that we're in different programs so we can coach each other and teach each other all of these different modalities and what we're learning. And to be able to bring that into this platform. Into our social medias. To be able to provide all of this information for people. Because it is one thing to be able to share our stories and to know how we've had all of this transformative growth through our traumas and how we've developed that ourselves. But now to really be able to learn those tools, to articulate it and express that in a way that will be really beneficial to everybody. I'm so excited. 

Kendle: Yeah, it's dope. I mean, literally, the stuff I've learned so far, and it's only been such a broad lens so far. One thing I learned yesterday is that our cells literally become addicted to emotions if we are in a constant state of an emotion. So if I'm constantly anxious, my cells then become addicted to the frequency that anxiety emits, because everything is energy all. So anxiety has an energy. The cell then becomes addicted to it. So when I'm in another state of calm or peace or joy, the cell receptors literally reject the frequency that those states of calm, peace, joy are emitting, and they don't accept them. And then they're like, oh, I just want to be anxious because it's the state that I know. That I exist in.

Kelly: I love it. Wild. 

Kendle: The body is so cool. I'm learning so much about the brain. I fucking love the brain. Kelly: Oh, my God. I know. That's my favorite piece to learn. It's like, I want to learn all of the subconscious and the mind. It's going to be so cool.

Kendle: Yeah. Oh, man. Well, as we wrap up this part of the episode, before we dive into the selflove part, I do want to ask y'all a favor. We have been so honored by y'all's continuous commitment of showing up, and we would be just so honored and grateful to hear your feedback, what you liked, what you didn't like, what you want to hear more of what you want to hear. any thoughts, any points of encouragement, 

Kelly: of constructive criticism, constructive coming from a place of love. 

Kendle: Yes, I think they will be. I trust y'all, we would just really be honored. We have links below. There's a Google form that you can click on to submit feedback. We have an email you can send it to. You all have our Instagram accounts. You can DM us. You can DM the no offense and podcast Instagram account. Some of you all, most likely all of you have our personal phone numbers. You can text us. We really want to hear from you all. 

Kelly: We're on a new microphone today too. 

Kendle: Oh, yeah, we have a microphone. 

Kelly: Curious. Did it sound different? Did it sound better? Did it sound professional? 

Kendle: Does it sound like professional? 

Kelly: Yes. But if you could take the two minutes out of your day to be able to do that for us, that is going to be the most pivotal piece for us to really take that information, process it, and really create something that's going to be more impactful for you and for everyone else that we're wanting to help. 

Kendle: Yeah, because as we say, the limit does not exist and we are not restricted or confined to maintaining the twice a week episode schedule. Having selflove Mondays be a thing. Like, we're really open to anything. And so we would just love to hear really anything that you have to say. I know that people tend to want to be very kind and encouraging and loving and I appreciate that. Throw that in there. And also, like, be blunt and be true and honest. Like, we want to know the truth of how it is to experience this podcast for you. 

Kelly: Give us a shit sandwich. Yeah, share with me a little bit in the middle. Tell us the real honest truth. Because we're never going to grow and expand unless we have those opportunities to reflect on the things that need to be improved upon and then end with something nice. 

Kendle: Shit sandwich. Exactly. 

Kelly: Oh my goodness. Well, self love Monday. 

Kendle: Self love Monday. We'll circle back, bring it back per usual. So as we said, eclipse season is upon us. I'm going to read this quote from the mini moons planner that I have from Modern Woman. Oh, I think her place is now called the Moon Studio. Anyway, I'll link it. They state, eclipses are an opportunity to break patterns. Shadows come to the forefront. Our unconscious is made conscious. Wow, that's a weird sentence. Our unconscious is made conscience. I can't say the word. You know what I'm saying. We can look at the past with an awakened perspective. Realizations around thought patterns, histories, reflections, reactions, and projections will be heightened. This month we have the opportunity to use discernment to shake off any unconscious programming. This month we have the opportunity to examine our own trauma responses and to recognize those in others. Expect revelations alongside surrender. Expect bumps and breakthroughs in equal measure. Stay kind and compassionate, do no harm, take no shit. And Kelly's going to bring us through some more specifics about this eclipse. It is in Scorpio. Then we will take you all through a burning ritual. 

Kelly: Fire. 

Kendle: I love fire so much. 

Kelly: Such a freaking pyro. You can burn something at the end. 

Kendle: when the fire starts to burn ah and it starts to Sorry. Go ahead. 

Kelly: So I found this website. There like an online magazine publication, so you guys can read the full article if you want to. We'll link it. It also has kind of specific things about your Zodiac. So Kendle and I read our specific zodiacs, and we do like to look at all three Zodiacs, especially our sun and our rising because that's really all encompassing for you. 

Kendle: Sun, rising and moon. 

Kelly: Yes. Let me just tell you, they're pretty spot on. So I enjoyed the little article, but it does talk about how this eclipse is going into Scorpio season. The eclipse is just a few days after Scorpio season starts. Plus, we have a little bit of that hauntie energy with Halloween happening a few days after. I don't know about y'all, but I love looking like a hoe in Halloween. It is my favorite holiday. 

Kendle: As long as it's culturally appropriate and you don't appropriate any culture. 

Kelly: Yes, I've learned my lessons. You can't be an Indian anymore. 

Kendle: You can't be Native American. 

Kelly: Native American. I'm sorry. 

Kendle: Yes. So no cultural appropriation. 

Kelly: And there's a lot of other costumes about there. Put some bunny ears on. Be like Regina George. Okay. Yeah. But essentially I'll read it, paraphrase it a little bit for you guys. Again, you can read it yourselves, but it says, rising in the dark and mysterious sign of Scorpio. Just a few days after Scorpio season begins, the new moon eclipse is plunging us deep into the oceans of our emotions and asking us to connect with things that lie beneath the surface of ourselves. Solar eclipses and astrology tend to bring about sudden new beginnings or unexpected news, and this one is no exception. With Scorpio zodiac energy at the realm, expect to be tapping into your intuitive spidey senses and unearthing buried desires or developing new ones entirely. At the time of the eclipse, the sun and Moon will be conjoining with the value oriented planet of Venus, which could bring matters of love, relationships, and so forth into the mix. The things we take pleasure and find meaning in are undergoing a transformation, and this could result in a new set of personal priorities. It may feel like the tectonic plates within our soul are shifting now, causing earthquakes and heartaches galore, but don't be afraid to plunge into the cracks. Magical opportunities could be waiting for you in those uncharted waters and shadowy sidelines. Again, highly suggest. Reading the article, you can see your specific Zodiac. They're spot-on. Here is the ritual. I have three journals. I have a journal that's kind of more for those angry emotions, those times that I need to really vet the journal where I can spew out everything that I need to get out of my heart with no judgment and it keeps all of that energy. And then I have another one that's more about my dreams and my aspirations and what I want. And then I have another one that's kind of mundane. I might write maybe what my dreams were that day, like actual dreams from sleeping, kind of just maybe that day to day. I'm not feeling any specific way and I'm just wanting to get that out. So I would suggest taking your one journal or just a piece of paper, whatever is easily accessible, but you want something that you can burn. So take a piece of paper, write out all of those things that are limiting you to where you want to go. Again, this is a great time for new beginnings. And in this particular scorpio season, we really want to tap into the pits of our soul. What is really holding us back? What are we feeling on the inside that we wish we could get rid of, that we wish we were able to tap into. But this one thing is holding us back. Or maybe it's those ten things are holding us back. This is your opportunity to be able to get everything out without judgment because we're going to burn it later, we're going to tear it up later. No one will ever see this. So be as raw and honest and open and transparent to yourself as possible. Keep that because on another piece of paper in a different journal, whatever it is, this one you're actually going to also tear out and keep. You're going to write down all of the affirmations combating those limiting beliefs. Is it I feel like I'm lazy and now you're wanting to move forward with no longer feeling that? Is it that you are feeling insecure and you want to say I am confident. Is it that you are feeling, one of the ones that I've been struggling with is trusting myself, utilizing my time efficiently, any of those things and you can now write the affirmations. A few pieces of this, though, I want to make abundantly clear. When we are writing these affirmations, we are not keeping those limiting beliefs within those affirmations. We want to make sure that they are all positive because your mind cannot differentiate saying, for example, I don't want to be lazy anymore. It can't be I am not lazy. It is I am productive. 

Kendle: Rest is productive. 

Kelly: I am resting. Mine is rest is it, I am efficient with my time. So don't use that same language of I am not something because you're only introducing that same thing into yourself. So write out all of those affirmations, fold it up, put it under your pillow, because the energy that you're going to have when you're sleeping with it will resonate. Read it every single morning to yourself at least a week. I've been doing it all month, and I'll continue to do this new set for the rest of the month, for like 30 day month. And then the other one, the fun one, all of those things that you had to get out, all that shadowy work that you had to do, whatever it is that you have on that piece of paper, with all of your limiting beliefs, it is the best time to let them go. So you can tear them up, you can throw them away, you can put them, flush them down the toilet. Or my personal favorite is lighting them on fire responsibly. So I lit mine on fire in the rocks. I had water on there so I can make sure all the embers were put out. My husband did it in the grill, so just do it responsibly. But to be able to watch it burn and as it's burning. What I really love to do, because the thing that I'm practicing the most in my day to day is gratitude, is giving thanks for all of those things, all of those limiting beliefs that you had at one point were there to serve you. We're there to help you. So giving gratitude for them being there and serving those purposes at that time, we give thanks to as burns and it's so much fun. I love burning things. 

Kendle: I love burning writing a letter to someone and burning it, and that's what this could be too, if this isn't resonating with you, of, let me get all my shadow stuff out and write combating affirmations to those things. And you have someone in your life that you feel like you need to express something to, and you don't actually feel like you have the space to have a conversation with them. Write them a letter and burn it. And then write yourself a love letter. Write your inner child a love letter and put that under your pillow and remind yourself every day how loved you are. There are so many ways to take this. I think that the root of it, though, is getting things out of our bodies that are limiting us because everything is energy. So no matter what it is, if it's a thing about yourself that you're limiting yourself in some way, if it's a letter to someone else, it's taken up so much space in your body and it needs to just be gone. Kelly: Release it and then try and get into the space of where you can feel comfortable writing it, where you feel unblocked while you're writing it. So you can do a bubble bath before, you can do a meditation quickly, before, you can do some breathing techniques before, like walk, connect to the earth, light a candle out of your space, get your crystals, pull a tarot card, whatever it is that makes you feel kind of clear in mind and relaxed so you can just free flow. Don't have your TV on when you're writing it. Just be with yourself, 

Kendle: put your phone somewhere,

Kelly: be in your own thoughts. Yes. Because if you're not in your own thoughts, you're resisting that shadow work. You're resisting that true piece that is limiting. 

Kendle: Just really giving yourself permission to purge, to let it flow. And I know that not everyone is going to be in a space for this and that is okay. And not everyone is in a space to receive what the eclipse could bring. And that's okay. Because if you're not in a space, it's bringing you something regardless. Even if you don't see it or you're not taking action upon it, these energetic forces are still happening. So I think if you don't have the capacity to write stuff out, if it feels very activating, just even going to the Earth and sitting on the ground and putting your hands and your feet on the earth and just asking the Earth to take any energy, any self limiting beliefs, anything that you no longer want to hold, she will happily receive it. Kelly: I've been talking to the stars a lot. Yes. Or the moon, if I can see the moon or I found Jupiter. Jupiter is not the itch. Jupiter is super close to the moon right now. Jupiter is my bitch. Y'all, I see Jupiter every single night. Jupiter is my bitch. 

Kendle: Jupiter is like, bitch, you're my bitch. Sit down, be humble. 

Kelly: Right. I learned that Jupiter has like 38 moons. 

Kendle: Jupiter's so cool. 

Kelly: It's so cool. But I found Jupiter and I've just been talking to Jupiter lately in the moon and if Jupiter, I can't see Jupiter, the stars. And if I can't see the stars because it's cloudy, just the sky, 

Kendle: because it's all there anyway, even if you can't see it. We don't have to see things just to make them real. Even though our minds say we do. 

Kelly: And you can just go out there and talk to it. Let go of some of those things, ask it to help you maybe find those things. You can release it. Just go in there and talk to the universe and give yourself some love. 

Kendle: Give yourself some love. 

Kelly: You're not gonna have us once we anymore, so not going to do it sometimes yourself. Kendle: The episodes will also be there though, so you can always go back to all of them. Kelly: Message us. 

Kendle: Yes. And I think if anything, just trying to take deep breaths, trying to take a breath, being conscious with your breathing is so foundational. And giving yourself a hug and telling yourself that you love yourself. You brush your teeth, you wash your hands, you look in a mirror occasionally. I challenge every single person, every single time they look in the mirror, to first thing say I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Kelly: Yeah. 

Kendle: Alright. Y'all, well, season finale that’s a Wrap 

Kelly: woo. Season one, in the books. 

Kendle: In the books, baby. Please, please, please, please, please send us your feedback, any and all feedback. We appreciate it. We appreciate all of you for listening. I appreciate you, Kelly, for everything. This whole journey that we've been on, for losing your job and sending us in the line of becoming certified coaches. 

Kelly: I told you, as soon as I lost my job, I called you and I was like, both of our lives are about to 180. I wasn’t wrong. 

Kendle: You weren't. You really were not. 

Kelly: I knew I was impacted just as much as you were. 

Kendle: Yeah, man. So we're going into our cocoons now, y'all. We're going to incubate, and we will see you on the other side. 

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Kelly: We love y'all. 

Kendle: Love y'all.

Kelly: Bye!!

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